"We're happy, free, confused, and lonely in the best way. It's miserable and magical oh yeah...... I don't know about you, but I'm feeling 22"
WOW. I am 22. That is just so weird to say.
I remember when Taylor's '22' came out, I was a freshman in high school, and I wondered what that year would feel like. What would it be like to be graduating college? What was my major? Will my life be as put together as I've been planning it to be?
Well, in reality, it's exactly like the song. Yes i'm graduating, but my life is far from being put together. I feel like I can speak for many college seniors in that it seems like sh*t really just hit the ceiling when we got back for our last year. In many ways we do have to plan out our future, grad school? Work?
I've compiled a list of 22 things in my 22 years that I want to remember, and hopefully the lessons I learned can help someone else.
1. Cool people, are really just people who are comfortable being themselves. That confidence they exude is what makes many of us envy their coolness. So, stop trying to "fit in." Have your own style, don't try to incorporate trends just because everyone on instagram is doing it. I feel like I really found my personal style in college. In highschool, many of us were obsessed with fitting in, and that resulted in many hideous branded t-shirts that I'm never going to wear again. However, in college I've started to seek out the clothes that scared me because I was worried about being judged.
2. Embrace the weird. Since a little kid, I have always been so stressed about making everything perfect. In fact, I wouldn't go to sleep at night until everything on my desk was in a perfect line. It took many many many years, but I've begun take a lighter step in life. I try not to get that worried if my shirt isn't completely wrinkle free and I seek out the joy in a situation rather than the stressor.
3. It's important to have multiple circles of friends along with a core group. In highschool, I was part of a really big friend group - which led to a lot of drama and did not end in the best of ways. When I entered college, I decided to only have a small group of friends, out of fear. As the years have gone by, I've realized the importance of having that core group (the one you tell your secrets to or cry when sh*t hits the fan) and also have other circles of friends that you can go out with, grab dinner with, study with, etc. It helps to broaden your mind to different people's viewpoints.
4. The path to grad school/med school/work/etc. is not a straight path. Yes, it will be for some people, but it's ok if that isn't your path. I went to a highly competitive highschool and maybe even more of a competitive college. For 3 of my undergrad years, I didn't realize the toll that took on me. Now that I've realized my path to medical school most likely won't be as straight as I had hoped, it's given me time to take a step back and pursue some things I'm interested in as well as take the MCAT again.
5. You are not a failure because of one standardized test score. This is still a bit hard for me to even type. I've always had excellent grades. School doesn't come naturally to me, so I work really hard to get the grade I want. When my MCAT didn't pan out the way I had hoped, I was immediately crushed. I felt like the only thing that was holding me back was that dang score and that I had everything else. After 1 week of spending time with my family, I've realized that this could be a blessing. I know that I'm going to be an INCREDIBLE doctor, but in order to be that incredible doctor, I need a gap year to just breathe. And that's ok. Also, a lot of people have to take the MCAT twice.
6. In the past years I have been incredibly fortunate to travel. Traveling has opened my eyes to different cultures and ways of thought. Here are a couple of moments that I hope to never forget.
7. It's important to hear other people's side in a debate. In recent years, the media has turned an entire 180. In the midst of "fake news", name calling, and taking cheap shots at what someone is wearing, I've learned to not get riled up in the frenzy of it all. Take a step back from the cancel culture and twitter wars- try to listen to what the other side is saying. You don't have to agree with what they are saying, but if we stop listening, no progress can be made.
8. Reading the news is pertinent as a member of society. I'm from quite a politically active family, and because of this, I hated participating in any conversation about the news as a kid. I wanted nothing to do with it and frankly I didn't really care. However, I turned 18 in 2016, and it was time for me to vote in my first presidential election. Oddly enough, it was my opportunity to vote that got me interested in what goes on in the world. I may not be fully aware of laws being passed, etc., but I now make sure to listen to a news podcast everyday on my way to school.
9. Not really that ground breaking, but I turned 21 a year ago, and I've finally figured out what my favorite drinks are. I do think knowing what you like to drink is important as you grow up, you may be at business meetings or professional events where ordering a shirley temple may be a tad weird. Fave drinks: Red wine, Aperol spritz, Gin & Tonic, Whiskey (occasionally)
10. Eating healthy is REALLY important. Ok so I feel like ever since I turned 21, my metabolism has caught up to my age. I can't eat fried food every single day and lose weight (not that I ate that every day). I'm a nutrition major and I really do believe in the HAES approach to food. I don't have a strict diet plan, but I do make sure to take my vitamins, eat at last one fruit a day, cut back on the carbs and eat more protein. I'm plant based, and eating vegetables has never been a problem. However, I realized that I don't naturally gravitate towards eating beans or tofu. If I had to pick between bread or beans, it will always be bread. BUT, it's important to eat protein especially as someone who doesn't get it from consuming animals.
11. Having a skin care routine is SO IMPORTANT. When I was a teenager I had quite a lot of acne. Around senior year of high school, my acne stated to clear up and I attribute it to cutting out certain food from my diet that would trigger my acne (chocolate and spicy food). Now I do eat chocolate (although now I only eat dark chocolate) and spicy food - but all in moderation. I never sleep with makeup on- even after a night out I remember to at least get the makeup off with some micellar water. Baby soap is honestly the best facial cleanser (for me at least). We all have different skin types and as we age, our skin changes. One thing that has helped me is baby soap - I just find the soap to be safe because there are literally two ingredients, it's made for babies, and it doesn't promise to clear my acne or something. I've also invested in some good moisturizers, lip balms, face scrubs, and oils - more in depth post on that coming soon. ALSO DRINK WATER- I suck at this, but every time I drink 3-4 bottles of water my skin looks AMAZING.
12. Becoming confident in wearing no make up. I live in Texas y'all, and when summer hits, it's over 100 degrees every day. This past summer instead of putting makeup on, I decided to challenge myself and start going out without it. Granted, over the summer I was writing my thesis and working on campus- thus not a lot people were going to see me. However, ever since school has started, I haven't even gone to class with makeup on! When I first started, I kept wearing my big glasses because I felt it covered most of my face, but as the summer progressed I became more confident with my skin. I think makeup is amazing and a great way to express your creativity, but for me, I used makeup to cover up what I thought were my imperfections. Now, I don't mind my imperfections and I've realized how much I really do love the natural look.
13. Work out. Not because you want to be skinny. Work out because you want to feel strong and become your best self. Stop hating your curves and wishing they would go away. They DON'T make you look fat. I've been an athlete most of my life, I played volleyball competitively up until college. As much as I loved volleyball, I remember hating the way I looked. I hated the muscular thighs I got because I felt like it added to my curves (I HATED my curves). In college, every-time I would get in this workout kick, it was always for the wrong reason (wanting to lose weight because I felt fat). What really got me into working out (and not dreading it) was when I began working out for myself. It wasn't about being #hotgirlsummer ready. It was about wanting to feel stronger, be toned, and feel great about myself.
14. Dance it out. College is stressful, have mini dance parties in your room. When ochem starts to look like Russian, turn on your favorite song and just silly dance for a couple of mins.
15. Don't make everyone's problems your problems. Learn to put your mental health first. In most of my friend groups I feel like I'm the mom. I'm the one people go to to hash out their problems and I give great advice. Yet, after 22 years, investing your life in other people's issues (no matter how small it is) can take a toll on your own mental health. I've learned what situations are necessary for me to speak up/help out in and which ones I should stay quiet in. Sometimes people need to work out stuff by themselves (and with their significant other), there's no need to chime your opinion every time. That doesn't mean don't listen. Always listen. Just don't become overly involved in every single problem.
16. You will lose friends. It's going to suck. Your highschool BFF's may become just friends you see occasionally (distance sucks). Hold on to the memories you've made together and be grateful that you had them in your life.
17. Dating is a crazy thing. Don't jump into it because everyone has a boyfriend. Date because you want to date. Last year, I started to go on my first dates and it was the worst. The reality was, I wasn't ready to date at all. Every time I went out, I had so many panic attacks. I realized that there were some things I have to work on before I get back into the dating world, and over the summer I started to work on my mental health when it comes to dating. I've also realized that it's important to date people YOU like, not people your FAMILY wants you to date. Don't compromise on what you feel is necessary for your significant other because how else are y'all going to build a life?
18. Don't be afraid to ask for help. I've always felt like if I studied, the material would click. And, it did most of the time. However when I took ochem 2 and physiology I quickly realized that I can't just study by myself. Study groups are your best friends, and going to tutoring does not mean you've admitted defeat. Sometimes you just need someone that you can talk out the concepts with just to understand the material.
19. College isn't just about studying or having fun. You don't have to choose. Yes you're there to study and especially if you're premed you're going to spend many hours at the library. BUT, it's also important to have fun as well. Play volleyball with your friends, go out to dinner, paint, DO SOMETHING that isn't specifically for your grad school application.
20. Be vocal about the change you WANT to see. Don't wait for someone else to speak out about it. Columbine happened in 1999, and I went to school when having active shooter drills became something we learned the first day of school. In fact I grew up in an incredibly safe neighborhood and I've had to evacuate twice due to safety scares. I go to college in a big city and I've seen the importance of having comprehensive gun reform. I mean I'm from Texas where open carry is protected BY LAW. In recent years the issue of gun control has been the forefront of our political atmosphere. Call your senators, be vocal, demand change so that our future is protected. Follow @everytown for updates.
21. Write down your feelings. Don't bottle them up. Diaries are actually a great outlet (even blogs haha). Have a couple people you trust to talk about some of the issues you deal with. Don't ever be afraid to seek out therapy.
22. This is your time. Live every single moment of your twenties. Love the life you are in, dance like you're 22 even when its passed your birthday. Everyone's in a weird place of figuring out themselves and their life. Don't over stress, have fun, go out for drinks. You will never get your 20's back.
XX,
Srini
FOLLOW ME: @srinisblog
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